Get talking

Ideas in play

What's on this website


Brief bits -- with links to more details in pieces listed below

Blinded by the rite
Sacred cause? Or savvy con-job?
A brief preview of what's here. And why.

Beyond conjugality
Way beyond "gay marriage"
A few words on the Law Commission of Canada's surprising report.

Not going beyond
The feds ask for talk only on "Marriage
and Legal Recogition of Same-sex Unions"

A brief overview of the Nov 8, 2002 Justice Department discussion paper.

Mandatory matrimony
If you've lived together for just a year -- surprise!
The fight for the "right" to gay marriage had already robbed us of the right not to be married. If you're living on a low income, you may now find it -- "equally" -- even lower.

Are you calling me common?
My dear, only for tax purposes....
The potential perils of being declared merely half a "household income" unit -- even if you're well-off. (Especially if one of you is better-off than the other.)

"Fucking confused"
Xtra! on gay marriage, 1999-2002
(Relatively) brief lead to three (extensive) pieces below, on the record of one medium well-placed to bring some sense to the Tedious Issue -- instead wimping out with hack "journalism."



Spouse touting
From "same-sex-benefit" battles to the "gay marriage" slog
Asking stupid questions (& getting stupid answers), we lost sight of the right one:
What role should the state play in our intimate relationships?

Better questions
And much better answers
The Law Commission of Canada's Beyond Conjugality: Recognizing and Supporting Close Personal Adult Relationships -- how it was developed; what it recommends; and the key values that shaped it. Truly radical stuff -- if so far mostly ignored.


Platitude: attitude
The words we use shape how we think. Even what we are free to think.
Smarm meets the Bullshit Detector

"Equality," "Dignity," Choice" -- glittering generalities made weapons of mass thought destruction. See what presumptions likely lie behind the language used to impose silence by smarm, sanctimony, and guilt. Brief intro leading to a smart romp through sap worth a slap. Your host: Miss ("I abhor cheap sentiment") Bette Davis.

Myth popularity
Like us! Love us! Dump us?...
"Acceptance": Rights played as a numbers game
(You bet your life!)

Justice is not a popularity contest. Seeking "acceptance" risks our fate being shaped by how "acceptable" we can make ourselves seem. (Queer punks, perverts, drag kings and queens: Get lost!) Another brief bit leading to further analysis, more attitudinous platitudes, and some egregiously appropriated oppressions.


Beyond dither?
Xtra! hosts a public forum: one smooth operator
shining amidst general confusion.
Gee, can't imagine why....

A report on the Oct 24, 2002 forum "Shotgun Wedding?" -- showing just how confused most of us are after ages of simple-minded "debate" on same-sex spousality. Linked to the next two pieces below, looking at one likely reason why we're all in such a dither.

Xtra!... Two solitudes
Confounding cohabitation:
Spouse touters & spouse doubters play house.
(And play us)

Does Xtra! back gay marriage? Or not? It depends on which page you read. A look at the paper's "real- world" working solitudes -- and why they may have more to do with the contrasts it offers in "news" and "opinion" (massively detailed below) than anything anyone there may believe on any issue at all.

Only disconnect
On the question of same-sex coupledom,
the record of one gay paper reflects a hidden agenda.
(If not the one you might suspect)

Four years of coverage, issue-by-issue, on the Tedious Issue in the pages of Xtra! -- showing not just what got said but how it got "framed." Endless details on endless stories on what its editors see as a doubtful cause. Two linked files with big charts for each year (for the record), more digestible summaries, a brief intro, and a conclusion maybe surprising.

Locked in conjugality
The Justice Department wants us to discuss
"Marriage and Legal Recognition of Same-sex Unions"
-- not the full range of our relationships

Details on the Nov 8, 2002 federal discussion paper, following the media's lead (mainstream and otherwise) in ignoring the ideas and values in Beyond Conjugality. With a link to the paper's full text online.

Two-ring circus
Parliament's public consultations become
a slag-fest of competing fundamentalists

On the road with the House Committee on Justice and Human Rights. Meant to explore options outlined in the Nov 8 discussion paper, they hear about just two: Gay Marriage Yes and Gay Marriage No.

A collection
with its own list of contents: three pieces so far

Passionate sense
Contributions to the conversation,
going back some years

Commentary on same-sex spousality in its various incarnations. Jane Rule and Gareth Kirkby of Xtra West! celebrate the cultures we've built, defying "the cage of coupledom." With other cries in the wilderness, from the early days of liberation to our "modernization" in the year 2000.

Another collection,
five pieces to date

Rebels with a cause
And a cause without rebels
Who are we? Is there a "we"? Does it matter? One thing does: What kind of world do we want? And how can we bring it to life? From "Just Married" to "Ban Marriage!" -- struggles of culture (and class) taking us beyond pat categories of Lesbian / Gay / Bi / Trans / etc, etc, etc.... Don't groan: organize!


This just in!
The damn details (& how not to get lost in them)
More recent developments -- & reservations on becoming "news" junkies.

What you can do
Get informed, get talking, get heard
Upcoming events & contact info.



Go back to:
Spouse  touting  (Introduction)
Gay marriage? Wrong question  (Lead page)

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This page:
October 2002 / Last revised: May 1, 2003
Rick Bébout © 2002 / 2003 /