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Spouse
touting
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Spouse
doubting
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Main cover story
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Main cover story
Noted on cover
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Jan 14, 2001:
Wedding Bells
Anne & Elaine Vautour tie the knot
NEWS (Elisa Kukla): "Got a list, checking it twice: The woman in the next pew had all the must-have qualities"
(Flag: "Marriage"; 2-col pic: "Leap of faith. Elaine and Anne Vautour will get married -- for real -- in a church, by a man of the cloth.") "So sure of their relationship that they're getting married twice," the Vautours (day-care teacher and settlement house consellor, already joined in an Aug 2000 MCCT holy union) are set for "a very public double marriage," Jan 14.
SIDEBAR: "Everyone's invited: Arrive early, there'll be a line-up" (Flag: "The Wedding") "The couples are really encouraged by the support the community is showing them," says MCCT media coordinator Brad Salavich. "We're actually taking out some of the pews to enlarge the media area."
NEWS (Elisa Kukla): "Still closeted: Apparently, all the homo politicians are single"
(Flag: "Integrity Act"; 2-col pic: "Conflict of interest declarations. Gay MPP George Smitherman is 'surprised' everyone's single.") "New legislation forces politicians this month to publicly declare same-sex partners -- but no one has emerged from the closet." (George admits he's "dating")
NEWS (Philip Hannan, Ottawa): "Ticking the right box"
(Flag: "Taxes") "Queer couples may be safe from the tax man this month," but they'll have to fess up in 2001. "It's going to hurt the low-income couples more," says an Ottawa accountant. "But if you're a high-income earner it doesn't mean dick." (Just below, an ad from RBC Dominion Securities: "Where do we go from here? Investment strategies for same-sex couples." A seminar "ideally suited to clients with $100,000+ investible assets")
BRIEF: "Marriage Okayed" (in the Netherlands: "Gay couples will not be allowed to adopt foreign babies, due to Dutch government's fear of Third World homophobia")
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE ("The Steps": person-on-Church-St queries): "Are you any good in relationships?" (2 Yes, 2 No)
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Jan 28, 2001:
Wedding Party
Media madness over gay marriage (pages 13 & 14)
NEWS (Eleanor Brown): "Joy & fear: The wedding day 'was scary,' admits pastor"
(Flag: "Marriage Rights"; 5-col pic (Canadian Press service; above): "Till death do us part. Kevin Bourassa, Joe Varnell, Anne Vautour and Elaine Vautour kiss after the 'I will.'"; 1-col pic: "Relieved. Rev Brent Hawkes bonds with the newlyweds" -- one of each.) Joint joining of same-sex spouses in (they hope legal) marriage, covered by "some 80 media outlets" with "film crews from as far away as Germany and Japan." "It was scary, there's no question," said Hawkes, who it's reported "owns a bullet proof vest but refuses to discuss any security precautions." (Kev & Joe later write of Brent wearing it beneath his vestments.) Days later the Ontario government rejected marriage licences signed at the service. "Lawyer Douglas Elliott has announced that the church and the couples will go ahead with a lawsuit."
NEWS (Brad Salavich): "Church publicist recovers from carpet bombing"
(Flag: "Media") MCCT's media guy (identified as such, if appearing in the "News" section) recounts his travails with other media guys. CNN, rumoured to arrive, turned out to be CBN: Pat Robertson's Christian Broadcast Network. "The picture that ran on the cover of most of the daily papers was the infamous kiss." (Girls "doing the nasty"? See Eleanor Brown editorializing at the right)
NEWS (Philip Hannan, Ottawa): "Write a will -- or else"
(Flag: "Spousal finances") "Confused about where you and your spouse stand in law? Since equality hasn't yet penetrated to all aspects of same-sex coupledom, you need to know where you're not protected -- or you'll get hurt badly. ... If you die without a will in Ontario, your same-sex partner gets nothing. ... And if your family doesn't fit the mould of two people living together as spouses -- your family structure isn't covered, warns [a] CLGRO pamphlet." (Accept the "inevitable"? -- but call your lawyer!)
BRIEF: "BC & Marriage" (Count rules province can challenge federal marriage law)
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Jan 28, 2001:
Wedding Party
Media madness over gay marriage (page 9)
EDITORIAL (Eleanor Brown): "The kiss"
"I eagerly awaited the Jan 15 papers, The Day After The Wedding. The kiss that seals the troth, on the cover of every newspaper in the city. How stupidly naive. Not one of this city's English dailies ran a photograph of the lip-locked marrying men on their cover." The Globe and Mail had the Vautours "smooching" on page 1. "It seems the boys still get a thrill when the girls are kissin'."
"Admittedly, the pro-gay marriage coverage has been awesome. ... There's an odd connection here to the coverage of the death of Toronto fine arts professor David Buller.... CFTO-TV News reported that Buller was 'unmarried and had no children.' ... The Sun wrote that 'sources believe it was his unwavering commitment to his homo- erotic paintings that may have cost him his life.' Perhaps that's why the mainstream media went gaga over the idea of good homosexuals and their lovely weddings. And perhaps that's why The Kiss was so hard to find. The media's unable to really talk about, to portray, our real lives."
COLUMN (on lead news page, by Michel Dorge): "Memo to: Newlyweds" (Flag: "Re: Gay Marriage") "Don't get me wrong. I think that two people in a committed long-term relationship should be recognized. But it's all about semantics and law. ... why should we want to imitate a not so successful product of the straight world? ... Perhaps even non-sexual partners who are devoted to each other [should] be able to have legal rights." (Note at the bottom, with The Law Commission of Canada's website address, for its Jan 31 "online chat on the legal recognition of all sorts of relationships -- including gay ones")
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Feb 8, 2001:
NEWS (Eleanor Brown): "Right back at ya: Gay newlyweds argue religious freedom to the fundamentalists"
(Flag: "Marriage") Doug Elliott, lawyer for "the two homo couples who tied the knot in a church last month," says provincial denial of licences reflects "the same religious bigotry" that left Jewish marriages unrecognized in law before the mid-19th century.
3 BRIEFS: "Sign here" (McGill group Project Interaction launches online petition againt two profs set to testify in a Quebec case, against same-sex marriage); "Marriage poll" (40% in Maclean's mag survey support gay marriage; 67% says homo teachers okay); "Hawkes apology" ("for dragging the governor general into a debate on same-sex marriage." Adrienne Clarkson "under fire" after her form-letter wedding greeting was read by the Rev at the service)
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Feb 8, 2001:
COLUMN (on lead news page, by Rick Bébout): "Memo to: Project Interaction" (Flag: "Re: Your Petition") "No, this is not an endorsement of your effort. It's a condemnation. Not from the religious right, but the radical queer left. Your attempt to suppress any thought but your own on gay marriage is typical of the self- righteouness surrounding this issue -- on both sides." (See "Dignity," in Platitude: attitude)
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Feb 22, 2001:
NEWS (Jamey Heath): "EGALE is Dead, Long Live Egale"
(Flag: "Name game") "Equality for Gays and Lesbians Everywhere has a new name. 'The old name was long and cumbersome,' says executive director John Fisher, introducing the new Egale Canada." Tag picked on "an overwhelming number of the 400-odd ballots cast at the national lobby group's Feb 10 annual general meeting in Ottawa" (most mail-ins: "only 25 people actually attended"). Two part- time staff join John, sole employee for the last six years. Egale's address and 3 numbers (office, toll-free & fax) appear at the bottom.
BRIEF: "Marriage Bill" (Svend Robinson tries again; Ontario Liberal leader Dalton McGuinty backs gay marriage: "I think it's just a matter of fairness and equality")
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Mar 8, 2001:
Talk it out
Counsellors dish on saving your relationship
(Small pic: Counsellor Kali Munro)
FEATURE (Christina Starr): "The perfect queer couple: Trying to be one is the surest way to sabotage your relationship"
(Flag: "Advice"; 2-col pic: "Double-edged sword. Counsellor Kali Munro says we often look for what we lack in ourselves.") "Ellen DeGeneres and Anne Heche had it all.... They flung out words like 'forever' and 'soul mate' to the hungry star-mulching press. Now look at them.... Yet we have been bombarded by the message that love conquers all." (Sensible advice, doubting cheap sentiment; marriage unmentioned -- if still fitting the spouse-tout frame)
SIDEBAR: "Selves help" (List of books, including Permanent Partners, The Couples Comfort Book, & Feathering Your Nest)
NEWS (Tom Yeung, Vancouver): "Spousal immigration idea is flawed: It's iffy, say activists"
(Flag: "Bill C-11"; 2-col pic: "Back again." Elinor Caplan "did not fix the problems from her last time around.") One-year cohabitation requirement (as in the Income Tax Act) is a "catch-22" for non-resident partners. "For married heterosexuals, the ink doesn't have to be dry on the marriage certificate: it doesn't matter if they're co-habiting or not." (No suggestion that time should not define "real" relationships)
NEWS (Mark Brodsky): "Cheap! Cheap! Cheap! The marriage- minded go for small, intimate ceremonies"
(Flag: "Vermont Civil Unions"; 2-col pic: "For love. Paul Fereira and Tim Gernstein [of Toronto] will get hitched in Vermont.") "Wedding planners, hotel staff and caterers" say new law "has yet to have much impact on their bottom line."
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Mar 22, 2001:
COLUMN (Marnie Woodrow): "50 ways to remind your lover" (Flag: "Conjugal celebrations") "'It's our anniversary!' the queer couple chimes in unison. ... Squealing out their mutual bliss, they clutch at each other with the possessive excitement one ought to reserve for one's Gucci handbag on a stoll through Central Park. ... There are queers who say they feel no need to celebrate something as cheesy as an anniversary, sneering that to do so would be 'so heterosexual.' To you I say: 'You are damaging the income potential of florists everywhere and I hope you can sleep at night knowing that!'"
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Apr 5, 2001:
NEWS: "Egale Says..." "The national lobby group Egale Canada has been busy this month, pronouncing on gay marriage in the Netherlands, HIV testing for immigrants and the ban on gay men donating blood." Egale backs no blood ban; no immigrant HIV testing. Dutch move "'was greeted with elation by same-sex couples seeking the right to marry,' reads an Egale press release."
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Apr 5, 2001:
Jane Rule speaks out against gay marriage!
NEWS (Tom Yeung, Vancouver): "Lawlessness as lifestyle: Icon Jane Rule refuses to apply for survivor benefits"
(Flag: "Grand dame"; 1-col pic; "Desert Hearts. Author Jane Rule broke new ground for lesbians back in 1964." [The Desert of the Heart, basis for the 1985 film Desert Hearts]) In a Spring 2001 essay in BC Bookworld titled "The heterosexual cage of coupledom," Rule calls the pursuit of marriage and common-law rights "a step back into state-imposed definitions of our relationships," noting that single moms and those with disabilities will be hurt most. She had not applied for benefits on the death of her partner of 45 years, Helen Sonthoff, in Jan 2000. "Over the years when we have been left to live lawless," she wrote, "a great many of us have learned to take responsibility for ourselves and each other, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, not bound by the marriage service or model but in singularities and groupings of our own invention."
[The same story ran in Xtra West!, Mar 22, titled there: "Jane Rule: no to marriage rights: Relationship recognition a step backward, says author." In its next issue Gareth Kirkby opens his editorial "No, no, no to marriage rights" with: "I hope they lose the legal fight for marriage equality rights." (They being the 8 BC couples then going to court.) "There! I said it, and I'm glad I got it off my chest." He and Jane get flak, and a few kudos, in letters to the editor. Both survive. For Jane's essay, a link to the editorial, and some responses see Lives of our own invention.]
"Egale Canada board member Dale Akerstrom says the national lobby group supports Rule's position -- in theory -- that the state should not define relationships. But Akerstrom says the arguments don't take reality into account. "The state does define relationships. ... Our position is that if the state is going to define relationships, we want our relationships to be equally recognized."
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Apr 19, 2001:
Breaking up too easy?
FEATURE ("Views," by Shaun Proulx): "Breaking up made easy: Way too easy, as far as I'm concerned"
(Flag: "Relationship trauma"; 1-col cartoon [bereft boy]: "Left alone. It doesn't take much these days.") "Having a boyfriend just got harder. Keeping one, that is. Because in this, the real new millennium, age of enlightenment and O Magazine, the notion of standing by your man seems as dead as, well, Tammy Wynette. .. I just want the good old days back, the ones when you broke up for old-fashioned reasons like catching your sugarplum at the tubs."
BRIEF: "Senate Posturing" (Liberal Senator Anne Cools touts "An Act to Remove Certain Doubts Regarding the Meaning of Marriage," excluding "any couples who cannot procreate")
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May 3, 2001: (Issue missing pages 9-12)
How to get married & stay a slut!
COLUMN (Greg Kearney): "Married sluthood: When you're caught between settling down and screwing around"
(Flag: "Relationship politics") "My boyfriend, Rob, and I have been together almost two years. We have three cats. He's covered under my drug plan. But if pressed by my fellow commie sexpert pals, would I even identify as half of a traditional couple? Hell no! ... Whatever we arrive at -- revisionist non-monogamous marriage? sexy friendship? thoughtful whatever? -- will necessarily be the product of endless soul searching (eeewww). ... Hoary as it may seem, the act of publicly declaring one's love is still a socially potent thing to do. So I guess I accidentally believe in the institution of marriage. 'But who wants to live in an institution?' my inner Phyllis Diller demands. If it's an institution filled with the kind of self-possessed, smartly subversive sluts who will always serve as my ethical template, then -- I do! I do!"
BRIEF: "Meanwhile, in Alberta..." (MD Grant Hill, new deputy leader of the Alliance, says gay equal rights "will produce and allow promotion of an unhealthy lifestyle"; court rules Alberta's Intestate Succession Act unconstitional, biased against same-sex survivors)
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May 17, 2001:
Man & Wife?
Local dykes wed in the 1950s
(Small pic: Hush, local tab, 1957; headline: "Freak wedding: Bridegroom is a girl!")
FEATURE (Elise Chenier): "Tabloid taboos: In 1950s Toronto, lesbians legally obtained marriage certifcates to tie the knot"
(Flag: "Wedding radicals"; 2-col pic: "Controversial nuptials. They weren't as rare as the papers made out." [Hush,Feb 23, 1957]) Historian tours Toronto's long-lost dyke bars (Elise doing a book on lesbian life post WWII). "For the Continental regulars, known to each other as 'downtowners,' there was nothing freakish about gay weddings. According to Eileen M, a retired registered nurse whose first career was turning tricks on The Corners [Dundas & Elizabeth] in the '50s, as many as 20 percent of lesbian couples she knew at the time had some sort of marriage ceremony. For the truly brave, the process began with an application for a marriage licence, an act that required the groom to pass as a man...."
BRIEF: "Wedding Stats" (National Post poll says "55% of Canadians think gay couples should be allowed to get married")
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May 17, 2001:
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE (Letters page online "Koffee Klatch"): "Would legalizing same-sex marriage hurt gay culture? Are homos who want to marry just imitating their het counterparts?" (Runs continuously to Sept 6 issue)
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May 31, 2001:
NEWS LEAD (Eleanor Brown): "The odd couple: The diva & the quiet one find common ground"
(Flag: "Marriage"; 2-col pic: "The Michaels. Leshner and Stark celebrate 20 years together." [Michael & Mike & perennial pooch]) "The couple just celebrated their 20th anniversary [celebrated again the next year, on CITY-TV] with a May 27 fundraiser that brought in $10,000 for the two straight lawyers working on a legal challenge to federal marriage laws. The suit, with seven other couples, will be heard in November. 'I think too many gays and lesbians have poo- pooed marriage,' says Leshner. 'It's not an issue of promiscuity versus intimacy, it's the right to choose marriage.'"
3 BRIEFS: "Marriage Defined" (Feds pass hets-only bill); "Unitarians" (say yes to gay marriage at May 28 annual confab); "Winnipeg" (Manitoba promises same-sex benefit bill)
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May 31, 2001:
EDITORIAL (David Walberg): "Mad vow disease"
"The government was kind enough to mail me my package of tax forms. That's when it really hit home. Revenue Canada has decided I'm no longer an individual, the master of my own affairs. My boyfriend and I are now a common-law couple. ... Like most other gay couples I know, we have used our lawless status to make up our own rules about our relationship. But no more. ... We've decided to put our own legal contract together, to maintain a relationship on our own terms. I urge all gay and lesbian couples to do the same without delay. Not that we can be sure such a contract will stand up against common law. ...
"After decades of figting to keep the state out of our bedrooms, some of us are inviting it back in. What began as a charming public relations campaign is threatening to become an expensive and exhausting court battle. ... Well, as Mom would say: if straight people were jumping off cliffs, would you fling your queer carcass off the precipice too? Please, let's be careful about what we wish for -- and very, very careful what we fight for."
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Jun 14, 2001:
COLUMN (Karen X Tulchinsky, Vancouver): "Marrying my femme"
(Flag" "Butch in a tux") "OK, I admit it, I'm a hopeless romantic. ... When I knew I wanted to marry Terrie, my lover, I bought her a ring. After a fabulous home cooked meal, I poured snifters of cognac, got down on one knee, presented the ring and proposed, just as I'd seen it done in the movies. ...
"But as queers, haven't we worked for decades to establish our own ways of organizing love and sexuality? Anyway, aren't same-sex marriages just a cheap imitation of a dying heterosexual tradition that was set up so that women could become the property of men? Maybe. I don't have the answers to those political and philosophical questions. What I do know is this: I am in love...."
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Jun 14, 2001:
COLUMN (Eleanor Brown): "'Til death do us part"
(Flag: "Media") Report on National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association panel on gay marriage: "Do We Really Want It? Or Did The Media Lead Us Down The Aisle?" "[Rev Brent] Hawkes received non-stop media attention for weeks in the run-up to the reading of the banns.... The pastor, of course, enjoyed the coverage ... But it was terrible for the gay movement. It allowed the safe and continued belief in the mainstream that all gay men and lesbians want to be just like them, that we want to buy in rather than pushing to bring straights over to our way of thinking.
"It was a lesson in pack journalism: Coverage will always be shoehorned into the cultural assumptions and mainstream needs of the day. Reporters encouraged the continued romanticization of the concept of marriage -- and forgot about the reality. As Xtra editor David Walberg said, marriage has become an ecomonic union 'til death do us part.'"
Eleanor cites National Post reporter Gord McLaughlin as "a breath of fresh air": "He writes as an unapologetic gay men, poking fun at some of the sillier homo obsessions without talking down to straight readers. That's the kind of writing we need: Stories that present gay reality and talk without whitewash."
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Jun 28, 2001:
NEWS (Mark Brodsky): "Legal puzzle: Nova Scotia adds another piece to the jigsaw"
(Flag: "Spousal Rights") "Four queer couples registered their partnerships in Nova Scotia at the beginning of June -- and the province has yet to go down in flames." Change to NS Family Maintenance Act offers domestic partnership registration, open to same-sex couples. "Egale Canada's Kimberley Vance and Samantha Meehan were the first of the four couples to get hitched."
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Jul 12, 2001:
NEWS (Eleanor Brown): "Blame Canada"
(Flag: "Equal Families"; 1-col pic: "The bill, please. Michelle Douglas wants the feds to pay their debts.") "The Foundation for Equal Families is billing the federal government for the cost of suing Ottawa over same-sex spousal rights." Lawyer David Corbett says his firm has spent $165,000 on the case, but has not billed FEF. "'We have been forced for more than 10 years to bring court challenge after court challenge,' said foundation president Michelle Douglas. 'Enough is enough. If political timidity is keeping the government from doing the right thing... then we'll see you in court.'" Douglas due to speak Jul 18 to the Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce: "Lunch is $20 to $25"; two phone numbers (one FEF's) provided.
5 BRIEFS: "Spousal Immigration" (It's getting closer); "No Adoption in MB" (Defintion of "spouse" changed in just 10 of Manitoba's 80 related laws); "Sask Rights" (Homo couples get OK in Saskatchewan); "Church Charge" (Brent Hawkes files criminal charge -- "disturbing a religious service" -- against woman who disrupted bann-based Jan 14 joint wedding at MCCT); "The Winner" ("Rev Dr Brent Hawkes was given this year's Human Rights Award at the World Jubilee and General Conference of the Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches"; with 2-col pic: gentle Brent)
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Jul 26, 2001:
2 BRIEFS: "Marriage Challenge" (Eight same-sex couples go to BC Supreme Court, "fighting for the right to marry"); "Exactly The Same" (Leger Marketing poll: "three-quarters of Canadians say that homosexuals are just like everyone else" -- but just half would back gay adoptions; 65% gay marriage)
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Aug 9, 2001:
NEWS (Elisa Kukla): "Bachelor likes marriage ...but he'll never tie the knot"
(Flag: "Civil disobedience"; 1-col cartoon [wedding cake]: "Sex radicals. Morris Kaplan warns against making alliances with the religious right.") New York prof says he'll never marry, but the nuptial option should be available. "There's an odd convergence here between the left and the right," conservatives afraid marriage will disappear, "sex radicals" that gay marriage will marginalize unmarried queers. "In reality, it would affect the lives of couples who choose to marry, and barely (if at all) impact the rights" of others (speaks of US law; editorial insertion: "[North American] law"). Calls couples' own ceremonies "a form of civil disobedience" with symbolic value. "I don't see a lot of value in looking for legal symbolic recognition." Argues in a book for "legal acknowledgment of as many forms of erotic assocations as possible," if for now backing gay marriage. (Confusing doubter cast as touter.)
BRIEF (Rex Wockner, USA): "German partners" ("Dozens of ceremonies took place in cities and towns across the country" as Germany allows gay partnerships; with note on other countries where "registered gay couples have nearly all the rights of marriage")
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Aug 23, 2001:
BRIEF: "No News on Marriage for Readers" ("If you're not with Egale Canada, you're against it." Xtra West! reports John Fisher "refused to issue any comment" to their reporter at the BC Supreme Court hearing, saying: "Given that [the editor] has been quite clear in saying he opposes the case... you can get most of your information from those whose position Xtra West supports, such as the Interfaith Coalition," an anti-gay marriage intervener in the case)
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Sept 6, 2001:
Oh Canada
Lovers fight to be together
(Small pic: Jim Lister & Robert Haggarty)
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "Fighting to be together: Canada won't let lover stay"
(Flag: "Immigration Policy"; 2-col pic: "'Your kind.' Jim Lister and Robert Haggarty say they get fingers wagged in their faces at the border.") Lister, manager of the Black Eagle, and Haggarty, a man from Chicago with HIV, "can't be together because of the imaginary line drawn at the Canadian border." Same-sex spouses can be let in under "compassionate" grounds, "but those with HIV are routinely denied as a possible burden on the health care system."
BRIEF: "Student Loans" ("From now on, gay students will likely get less money from the government if they live with a partner." More living with "the inevitable")
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Sept 6, 2001:
EDITORIAL (Eleanor Brown): "The arrogance of Egale"
"The national queer lobby group Egale Canada -- our influential and mainstream voice on Parliament Hill and in the courts -- never seems to do things right unless it is excoriated, loudly and publicly. So here goes." John Fisher claims "selective use of facts," saying in a letter: "It is true that I critiqued [the editor's] opposition to same-sex marriage, which has unfortunately affected coverage of the issue," and that it was "likely to be used to deny same-sex couples the freedom to marry. ... The Xtra magazines are, of course, perfectly entitled to whatever editorial stance they wish, but cannot reasonably expect to be immune from community criticism if they advance positions that deny some of us equality." Eleanor writes: "What a great way to ensure that debate is destroyed. Be afraid. Don't speak. Just be quiet and let uncle Johnny do what's right."
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Sept 20, 2001: No related stories.
But a note from publisher David Walberg: "After many years as Xtra's managing editor, Eleanor Brown has left her post at Pink Triangle Press. Associate publisher Brandon Matheson has assumed Xtra's managing editor duties. Features editor Paul Gallant now oversees the news section." Most visible change: less news.
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Oct 4, 2001:
NEWS (Robin Perelle, Vancouver): "Keeping all the money: Egale criticized for not sharing legal funds"
(Flag: "Marriage challenge") "Two gay men in Quebec have mortgaged their home to cover the cost of their marriage case because the national gay lobby group squeezed them out in a funding competition" for money from the Court Challenges Program (Egale reportedly getting "something between $50,000 and $100,000"). "Laurie Arron, then president of Egale, told us we didn't fit the profile of Egale couples and we would not 'wow the Canadian public on TV,'" saying the two were too 'independent.' Three of the eight BC couples in court have also failed to win Egale's support. Story ends with note saying how to contribute to "the BC partners' case."
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Oct 18, 2001:
BC Supreme Court: No one messes with marriage!
NEWS (left column on lead news page, by Brenda Cossman): "Court stuck in 1867"
(Flag: "BC Marriage Decision") "It's enough to make you want to get married." A decision "so bad that even those folks who don't particularly fancy marriage should raise their eyebrows. ... According to Justice Ian H Pitfield, the institution of marriage is all about having children, and same-sex couples can't do that -- at least not with each other." Pitfield also said: "The legal nature of marriage is so entrenched in our society... that Parliament or legislatures, and not the court, must make the change." He says even Parliament can't change the definition of marriage, set in the 1867 British North America Act, without a constitutional amendment.
SIDEBAR: "Marriage Ruling: Appeal Filed" (BC partners to fight on)
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "Live together to live together"
(Flag: "Immigration headaches") "The new immigration bill, C-11, doesn't look like it will do much good for cross-border homo couples." One-year cohabitation requirement; visitors can stay in Canada just six months. HIV made no bar for a "genuine partner."
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Nov 1, 2001:
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "To court, to court: Our guide to all those marriage challenges"
(Flag: "Legal primer") "You'd think it was spring, the way same-sex marriage cases are sprouting up." Maps of British Columbia, Ontario and Quebec, with details for each ("Who; "When/Where"; "The Twist," good or bad; "Costs"; & "How They're Proceeding").
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Nov 15, 2001:
NEWS LEAD (John Sinopoli): "'Phobes have their say: Any argument will do against gay marriage"
(Flag: "Same-Sex Fear"; 2-col pic: "Society crumbling. Barbara McDowall and Gail Donnelly are fighting to have their relationship recognized.") "Yep, the rightwingers were in top form all through the five days in the Divisional Court of the Ontario Superior Court Of Justice, as they did their best to thwart the 10 couples fighting for the right to marry. The opponents of queer coupling talked alot about marriage's connection to baby-making, money and religion -- but never about love."
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE ("The Steps," question by Paul Gallant): "Will the same-sex marriage cases succeed?" ("No"; "Hopefully"; "Eventually"; "Yes, but it will take a long time")
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Nov 29, 2001:
NEWS (left column, lead news page, by Paul Gallant): "Gay widows demand pensions"
(Flag: "Class action"; 1-col pic: "Wrong time. Representative plaintiff George Hislop with his partner Ronnie Shearer, who died in 1986.") "It's starting to look like the real test of a homo in this country is not what you do in bed, but how much time you spend in court." Doug Elliott's firm launches class action suit "which could be worth $400 million to 10,000 same-sex widowers."
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Dec 13, 2001:
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "A lover scorned: Family cut him off when his partner died"
(Flag: "No Time to Grieve"; 2-col pic: "Happier times: Louie Kokoros and Michael Papadopoulos were together for three years." [text says two]) "Shunned by his partner's family and the Canadian legal system," Papadopoulos says, "I didn't get any time to grieve." Louie had shown him a will, but never filed it. Feds say they were a common-law couple after one year; province says three (for survivor benefits).
BRIEF: "Quebec Civil Union" (Draft bill to "create a special legal category for homo relationships" [civil unions in fact not limited to "homos"])
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Dec 27, 2001:
Love child
Gayby boom, adotption rights & schools -- last year, kids bounced into the spotlight
(Full cover image: Anna, baby daughter of lesbian couple Susan Mabey & Katherine Noel)
FEATURE (Paul Gallant & Gordon Bowness): "2001 x 10: Top stories in news & arts"
Year-end compendium, opening with Jan 14 "I do, I do." Features 2-col image of Mabey, Noel, and baby Anna, over small story titled "All Embracing."
Lesbian divorcées!
NEWS (Christina Starr): "Breakin' up is hard to do: Group for 'homemakers' reaches out to lesbians"
(Flag: "Divorce"; 1-col pic: "Nurturing place. Nancy Mayer talks about the end of relationships.") "There are plenty of ways of working them out, but for gay men and lesbians the choices are often limited." Piece on New Directions, set up for divorced "homemakers," now hoping to serve lesbians. (Not, of course, "divorced" from each other)
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Spouse
touting
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Spouse
doubting
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Main cover story
Noted on cover
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Main cover story
Noted on cover
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Jan 10, 2002: No related stories.
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Jan 24, 2002: No related stories.
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Feb 7, 2002:
Mandatory joint taxes for homo couples!
NEWS (left column on lead page, by Mark Brodsky): "Tax Man Says: You're A Couple"
(Flag: "Saving Money") "If you've been shacked up for more than a year, you have no choice anymore: You and the one you share your bed with have to do your taxes together. ... Couples who don't declare their relationship can be reassessed and ordered to pay back taxes and benefits, along with interest." Accountants differ on impact: one says it will help high-income couples, hurt low- income ones; another that the richer will pay more, those with "a modest income won't notice much of a difference." Laywer Bruce Walker gets the last word: "The benefit of having the government define our relationships is that we're able to participate fully in society." What might seem a warning becomes, again, a puff for respectable acceptance of "the inevitable."
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Feb 7, 2002:
EDITORIAL (Paul Gallant): "Two hits & a miss"
"The latest development on the same-sex marriage front is the Law Commission of Canada report, which went public last week, on recognizing and supporting close personal adult relationships. The report's title, Beyond Conjugality, is the clearest indicator on when the law should come into play around sexual couplings: Mostly it shouldn't. While governments and pundits debate whether to treat homosexual couples differently than heterosexual couples, the commission grabs the rug and flips everything into the air: Why treat sexual relationships any different from non-sexual relationships?"
Paul's other "hit": Ontario court ruling in the Pussy Palace case, with a broad definition of "privacy." His miss: court refusal of appeal by Glad Day Books, fined for selling a video not passed to Ontario's film censors for "classification."
COLUMN (Paul Gallant): "Marriage is dead! Long live marriage!"
(Flag: "Media") "Busy reporters picked up the 172-page document [The Law Commission's Beyond Conjugality], flipped through it and landed on the last page.... There at the bottom: 'Parliament and provincial / territorial legislatures should move toward removing from their laws the restrictions on marriage between persons of the same sex.' ... it was recommendation 33 out of 33. In the effort to pump up the hot topic of the day the mainstream media missed the huge implications of the commisision's recommendations: They want the government out of the marriage business altogether."
Paul reviews other recommendations, their essence he says, that "non- conjugal relationships should be recognized along with conjugal ones. It's the bond of caring, not fucking." But the "mainstream press" played "the easiest card there is: To gay marriage or not to gay marriage? ... So a thoughtful report's day to shine ... had passed without real examination and debate."
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Feb 21, 2002:
NEWS (Billie Jo Newman): "Sex Out Of Marriage"
(Flag: "Law report") "The national gay lobby group Egale is pleased with a report that recognized same-sex relationships -- even while it takes the sex out of them. ... Egale hasn't had a chance to look at the report in detail. But [John] Fisher says its main message is what Egale wanted to hear. ... "It's long been Egale's position to get the government to recognize that same-sex couples should have the right to marry, but it also believes the law should address the rights of all people."
Details on the LCC's other 32 recommendations do not appear, their essence left for John to summarize. "Fisher says the report is a step in the right direction, but he wonders if it will sufffer the fate of other visionary government documents. ... Even though it will be a while before anyone will see any changes, Egale says there could be one immediate advantage: It could be used for legal arguments to support the same-sex couples fighting in court to get their marriages legalized."
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE (box in story): "Say your piece about this story at www.xtra.ca. Click 'features' to air your views."
[The Feb 7 issue of Xtra West!, with a cover drawline "Marriage 8-9," ran a more detailed news story by Robin Perelle; a half-page analysis by me ("Not the church, not the state: Commission report suggests we alone control our fate" -- further details on the range of proposals in Beyond Conjugality and the values underlying them) with the Law Commission's website address, leading to the report online, given in a box at the bottom; and a half page piece by Sara Fieldsend on Michael Riordon's Eating Fire: Family Life on the Queer Side, titled "Our own path to love."]
BRIEF: "Marriage" ("On Feb 19, Egale Canada presented Parliament with a 15,000-signature petition supporting same-sex marriage")
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE (Letters page online "Koffee Klatch"): "Do you want to marry? If you're in a couple, do you consider yourself different from straight couples? If you're seeking a relationship, do wedding bells provide an incentive"? (Runs in every issue through Dec 12, 2002.)
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Feb 21, 2002:
Am I a lesbian husband?
COLUMN (Kate Barker): "Swapping crock pots for the car"
(Flag: "The Provider") "My partner and I thought we were safe, were smug in our shared sense of superiority over the unfortunate, the married, the straight. But now ... I am realizing my earning potential while she has bravely left the security of the 40-hour work week.... I am cast into the improbable role of 'The Provider' and suddenly I don't feel so smug. I am afraid. Sorely afraid. ... We can rail all we want against traditional family constructs, but right now, it doesn't seem to be doing us a whole lot of good. I should just put my feet up, enjoy my beer and slap myself on the back for having acquired what most of us would kill for -- A Wife."
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Mar 7, 2002: No related stories.
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Mar 21, 2002:
Sour Charity
Church enjoys status gay groups denied
(Small pic: John Fisher)
FEATURE (Tanya Gulliver): "Charity cases: Homophobes get perks under Canada's antiquated tax laws"
(Flag: "Fundraising"; 2-col pic: "Changing purposes. Egale's John Fisher says his group is more about education than it's been in the past"; 1-col pic: "Branch plant. Dr Dobson is the US preacher who founded Focus on the Family.") "Where does charity work end and politics begin? When it comes to how the Canadian government treats registered charities, gay and lesbian groups often seem to fall on the political side, while rightwing Christian groups fall on the charity side." Groups "like Egale Canada or AIDS Action Now, lose out...." Piece quotes reps from the Canadian Civil Liberties Association, CLGRO, the Canadian Lesbian & Gay Archives, Focus on the Family Canada, and John near the end, hoping focus on "research and public education" will be viewed more charitably.
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Apr 4, 2002:
Senate Queering
Laurier LaPierre opposes anti-gay marriage bill
(Small pic: Senator LaPierre)
FEATURE ("Views," by Laurier L LaPierre): "Under the stars, without fear: A senator proudly comes out"
(Flag: "Gay Marriage"; 1-col pic: "Silver ring. Laurier LaPierre opposes a definition of marriage that excludes homosexuals.") Longtime media personality LaPierre, named to the Senate in 2001, comes out as gay (and hitched), saying that het-only marriage law "defies reality." He cites the Law Commission's report (unnamed) for stats: "It appears that a significant minority of Canadian households consist of same-sex couples."
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Apr 18, 2002:
NEWS (Richard Burnett, Montreal): "La bellweather province: Why Quebec's gay marriage case is a big deal"
(Flag: "Civil Union") Montreal couple suing both federal and Quebec governments for the right to marry, "in what many observers say is shaping up to be the most important gay-rights case in the history of Canada." Cases elsewhere "will not affect Quebec and its Civil Code whereas the Quebec case will affect the entire country because it also challenges federal and common law." Michael Hendricks (hitched with René LeBoeuf) says: "The biggest support outside Quebec is from Ontario couples visiting Kevin Bourassa and Joe Varnell's www.equalmarriage.ca website." Civil union (open to couples gay or not), he says, "gives us the contents but not the container. And its's the container -- marriage itself -- that is important to René and myself because it is the gold standard of acceptance in our society."
NEWS (Billie Jo Newman): "Unstoppable Gay Marriage?"
"Egale Canada says the momentum toward legalizing same-sex marriage in this country is building, even as cases in three provinces wind their way through the court system. ... 'I think it's a significant step forward,' says [John] Fisher. 'I think we're seeing a coming together of key organizations.' Earlier this year, a report by the Law Commission of Canada [unnamed] advocated legalizing gay marriage as part of a broader plan to modernize how the law treats all relationships." (Nothing on that "broader plan")
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May 2, 2002: No related stories.
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May 16:
BRIEF: "Alberta Registers Partners" ("The province often seen as Canada's most conservative has introduced its own version of registered domestic partnerships, that would grant same-sex partners some degree of relationship recognition." Story later says the proposed "Adult Interdependent Relationships Act" would apply not just to same-sexers -- but even to people in "non-sexual relationships."
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May 16, 2002:
EDITORIAL (Paul Gallant): "Activism's a dirty word"
"Last summer Nova Scotia allowed gay and lesbian couples to register themselves as dometic partners. It was widely reported that Kim Vance and Samantha Meehan were the first couple to register. What was not widely reported was that Vance is the president of Egale Canada.... It wasn't like reporters didn't know who she was.... The mainstream media, obviously warm to gay marriage issues, decided the Nova Scotia story would play better to the public if Vance was an everywoman rather than a woman who spends much of her time lobbying governments to treat gay and lesbian people fairly. What would seem admirable was deemed bad PR. ... The public is seen to only understand or care about personal struggles, not systemic problems."
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May 30, 2002:
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "Immigrants wait for new rules: Cohabitation scarce"
(Flag: "Couples") "LEGIT (Lesbian And Gay Immigration Taskforce) and Egale Canada have had some indications that the department of immigration is considering changing how they deal with partners that are in genuine relationships but have not lived together."
BRIEF: "BC Benefits" ("A multi-million dollar lawsuit against the federal government landed in BC Supreme Court on May 13." Another 10,000 widow(er)s join Ontario's in claiming Canada Pension same-sex survivor benefits)
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Jun 13, 2002: No related stories.
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Jun 27, 2002:
BRIEF (Emily Sharpe): "Marriage Decision" ("The court ruling on the validity of same-sex marriages in Ontario is expected on Fri, Jul 12." Case rises from 8 couples denied licences at Toronto City Hall, and two married by the banns in Jan 2001. "Brad Salavich, MCCT media relations coordinator, is optimistic," saying the church will not settle for a decision supporting a domestic partners resigtry like the one in Nova Scotia; that makes "same-sex partners second-class citizens." (NS registry is open to couples without regard to sexual orientation)
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Jul 11, 2002:
NEWS (John Sinopoli): "Done deal: Government settles on same-sex immigration policy"
(Flag: "Cross border love") "Immigration has added the category 'conjugal partner' which requires a couple to be in a relationship for a year, without having to live together." HIV status will not be a factor.
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Jul 25, 2002:
Can We Marry?
What the latest decision means
LEAD NEWS (Paul Gallant, with files from Tanya Gulliver): "Marriage issue haunts feds: Ontario court delivers victory, confusion"
(Flag: "Tough Love"); 1.5-col pic: "Winners... maybe. Four of the 10 couples who won in the Ontario Superior Court Of Justice: Michael Leshner and Michael Stark; Anne and Elaine Vautour; Kevin Bourassa and Joe Varnell; Barabara McDowall and Gail Donnelly.") Decision "sets off celebrations -- and lots of confusion." Governments given two years to comply; City Hall won't "jump the gun." Ontario Premier Ernie Eves says he personally favours gay marriage, but it's up to the feds; Alberta's Ralph Klein says (again) he'll use the Charter's "notwithstanding" clause to keep it out of Alberta.
NEWS (Tanya Gulliver): "Queer marriage's public face: The kids came first for lesbian couple"
(Flag: "Family"; 2-col pic (moms) & inset pic (daughter): "Two Moms. Joyce Barnett and Allison Kemper have their daughter cheering them along in their marriage fight.") "She attended her first Pride Day in her mother's womb. At age two she learned the truth about 'cinderella men' (her word for drag queens). At nine she was the centre of the queer adoption case. And now, at 16, her parents seem close to getting married." Barnett, a "psychotherapist and mediator," says: "We tend to be the living embodiment of the queer family"; Kemper, director of the 519 Church St Community Centre: "We want the benefits of our love to spill out into the wider community."
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Aug 8, 2002:
NEWS (Paul Gallant, with files from Emily Sharpe): "Marital disputes: The Liberals buy time on same-sex marriage"
(Flag: "Party Conflicts"; 1-col pic: "We want it now. Rev Brent Hawkes, who performed two same-sex marriages last year which have not been recognized by the government, speaks out in support of wedded bliss.") "The race is on: Will same-sex marriage reach the Supreme Court Of Canada before a safe majority of Canadians approve of gay nuptials? Which comes first will likely determine whether Canada will have legal gay marriage within the next two to five years, or whether we'll be stuck with some separate-but-equal registered domestic partnership system for another 20 or more years.
"'Politicians are not daring on our issue and they won't be,' says Bob Gallagher," media rep for the 10 couples who won in Ontario court. The feds appealed the ruling. "We have to increase public support for gay marriage," Bob says (and thinks he knows how: see Myth popularity).
BRIEF (Emily Sharpe): "Pensions" ("Ontario queers whose partners died between Apr 17, 1985 [when the Charter's equality section came into force] and Jan 1, 1998 [when Bill C-23, "modernizing" benefits, did] will know on Nov 18 if they can fight for Canada Pension Plan survivor benefits collectively or individually." Fed have lost in BC case, class-action suit set to go ahead)
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Aug 8, 2002:
EDITORIAL (Paul Gallant): "Showdown at the chapel"
We're doomed to "tedious conversations about the merits of this tattered institution [marriage].... I say doomed because, despite the grandiose and divisive treatment homo marriage has received on front pages, despite all the time and effort spent to advocate it and fight it, only a tiny fraction of the Canadian population on either side think much about it. ...
"No, what's allowed this marginal debate to take central stage -- what's caused federal Liberal ministers to turn into twitchy cowards -- is the value that marriage advocates and opponents have invested in the word 'marriage.' Both sides agree it means one sweeping thing: 'We like you.' 'We' being the people of Canada. 'You' being homosexuals. ... By equating marriage with social approval, a deeper truth has been clouded: That gay men and lesbians don't need the permission of governments, churches, or other institutions to be human and to demonstrate our value."
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Aug 22, 2002:
Feds study gay marriage!
NEWS (Tanya Gulliver): "Marriage dodge"
(Flag: "Politics") "Federal justice minister Martin Cauchon is playing dodge-ball with same-sex marriage," saying he'll refer the question to Parliament's justice committee to allow for public consultation and debate. "It shut up the media," but "there's no confirmation that the issue will even go to committee." John Fisher [of Egale] "doesn't see a need for consultation. 'We know where the various parties stand and have heard the debates already,' Fisher says," fearing the right will "come forward to tell the government why same-sex couples should not be treated equally. Human rights should not be subject to a popularity contest."
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE ("The Steps"): "Would you get married?" (2 No; 2 Yes -- "eventually"; or "if it was a committed relationship for numerous years")
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Aug 22, 2002:
COLUMN (left side of lead news page, by Kate Barker): "Too Old For Marriage" (Flag: "Landmark decisions")
"How many times have you seen the adjective landmark used in reference to 'decision' or 'legislation' or 'case' to do with gay and lesbian rights? Aren't you getting tired of that impotent little word? ...it's difficult to get a self-righteous hard-on over a cause as unsexy as marriage. No wonder I don't see too many 20- somethings beating down the chapel doors. Better the hot and horny hordes of young gay do-gooders should work off that excess energy on the dancefloor and in bed. It's a much healthier choice. ... The right to marry is being fought [for], perversely, by those who are already hitched, their youth gone.... Isn't it all just a little ridiculous?" (So: Too young for marriage?)
COLUMN (Brent Ledger): "Me no speak straight"
(Flag: "Translating") Parody quiz; sample question (of 6): "You met: A) Through family; B) Through friends; C) When he walked into your room at the baths." "If you consistently answered A) you're either straight, heavily involved with Egale Canada, or living with Michael Leshner."
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Sept 5, 2002:
NEWS (left column, lead news page, by John Sinopoli): "Reading The Banns"
(Flag: "Same-Sex Marriage"; 1-col pic: "Same-Sex Marriage. Rev Cheri DiNovo tries to get fellow clergy on board.") "A United Church minister is calling on her colleaques to help marry gay and lesbian couples. Reverend Cheri DiNovo wants all clergy to marry couples -- gay or straight -- by banns, 'as a sign of solidaity with same-sex couples who can't get married by any other means.'"
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Sept 19, 2002:
NEWS (Tanya Gulliver): "Third time charm?"
(Flag: "Marriage") "The score is two to one in favour of queer marriage. If only the 'crazy judging' in BC could be thrown out as easily as Olympic judging it would be a clean sweep as the issue heads to higher courts.... 'We call upon Parliament to act now in accordance with the [Quebec] court's decision and allow same-sex couples to marry. How long must Canadians in same-sex relationships wait for equality?' John Fisher, executive director of the queer lobby group Egale Canada, stated in a press release."
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Oct 3, 2002:
Barren feds!
LEAD NEWS (Tanya Gulliver): "Please return your wedding rings: Childless straights shouldn't be married either"
(Flag: "Fairness"; 2-col pic: Past expiry date? Straight couple Olivia Chow and Jack Layton still seem happy with each other despite no kids.") "I already knew that the federal government didn't recognize my Vermont Civil Union as a marriage equivalent. But imagine my surprise when I learned that my brief foray into heterosexual marriage, not to mention my grandfather's second marriage (which I considered to be super-romantic) are also invalid in the eyes of the federal government." Justice department floats line it may use to argue against gay marriage in Ontario court appeal: "The purpose of marriage has been the uniting of the two opposite sexes for the purpose of procreation...."
Gulliver writes: "That means there are a lot of straight couples out there whose marriage certificates should be invalid if all Canadians are to be treated equally" -- going on with examples, including Layton and Chow (progressive city councillors), Tory premier Enrie Eves ("living in sin" with former Tory minster Isabel Bassett, "in her 60s"), another woman Tory minister married with no kids, Canadian actors Mike Myers and Brendan Fraser (married, not to each other, with no children), and Governor General Adrienne Clarkson, long living childless with (if just lately married, for vice-regal respectability, to) writer John Ralston Saul.
FEATURE (Paul Gallant): "Long-time companions" Photographer celebrates cross-country couples"
(Flag: "Love"; 5 shots of couples, 2 male, 3 female, in Labrador, Newfoundland, Ottawa, Toronto, & Regina) "I've seen photo books on gay couples before, but none so unpretentious, unglossed and downright sweet as Francis Li's Portraits of Couples." Self-published, showing 38 Canadian pairs "together for more than a decade," among them Li, 42, with his lover of 78, and author David Bonyun and his. "I was surprised," Li said, "how different people's lifestyles were."
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Oct 3, 2002:
EDITORIAL (Maureen Phillips): "Longer isn't always better"
"Assigning a value to the longevity of romantic relationships is a contentious thing, filled with arbitrary judgments. ... There is a general percption that longer is better, with duration beating out quality in how we measure intimacy, love and sex. There's nothing wrong with celebrating relationships of long standing (for some prime examples, turn to page 21 [see feature at the left]). But it gets tricky when we do so in an automatic way. ... Long-term picket-fence relationships certainly make for good PR if what you're trying to sell is the idea that homos are no different from anybody else. And maybe for me that's the part of the pitch that doesn't sit well. ... The pressure to conform to conventions undermines efforts to opt for the unconventional."
INVOLVEMENT DEVICE ("The Steps," question by Paul Gallant): "What's been your longest relationship?" (3 years, 10 months; 3 months; almost 1 year, 11 years ago; 4 years: "I'm still in it -- and looking. [Laughs.]")
POTENTIALLY REAL INVOLVEMENT (half-page ad): "Xtra! presents Shotgun Wedding? A lively discussion on same-sex marriage"
"A just fight for equality, or a misplaced grab for approval of our relationships? Do queers belong in civil marriage, or should the state get out of marriage altogether? What do we win and lose by fighting for gay marriage?" Public forum, with panelists "John Fisher (executive director, EGALE), Rachel Giese (freelance writer), Bruce Ryder (principle author [sic] of Beyond Conjugality, a Law Commission of Canada report on relationship recognition), Tom Warner (Coalition for Lesbian and Gay Rights in Ontario), and David Walberg (publisher, Xtra) as the moderator." Oct 24, Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, Toronto.
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Oct 17, 2002:
Shotgun wedding? Activists debate gay marriage!
NEWS (Rachel Giese): "Proving nothing: Feds should get out of marriage biz"
(Flag: "Relationships") "'We believe that marriage, for gay and lesbian people as well as straight people, should not be legislated by the government at all,' says CLGRO spokesperson and long-time activist Tom Warner. ... It's an almost heretical position ... which makes CLGRO's stand worth a closer look. ... 'Our view is that gay and lesbian couples shouldn't have to prove to anyone the legitimacy of their relationships' [says Tom]."
CLGRO's position (set in 1989 if nearly unknown) is similar to that taken by the Law Commission's Beyond Conjugality in 2002 (also nearly unknown, alluded to in this piece but not named). "Warner is careful to clarify that CLGRO doesn't want to take away anyone's rights. 'Certainly our stand is that if the current system is not going to be rethought in the way we suggest, then we feel that equality is the least that should be offered to us. If the current marriage structure is maintained, same-sex couples should be able to marry without discrimination."
(Note at the end on Xtra!'s Oct 24 "Shotgun Wedding?" forum; ad also runs again in this issue.)
No Means No
How to ditch that wannabe husband
FEATURE ("Views," by Jeremy Parkes): "Insert husband here: He won't take no for an answer"
(Flag: "Dating"; 2-col pic: "Today speed dial, tomorrow a condo. Your feelings don't matter much in this equation.") "He's the one who plans your new rosy life together 10 minutes after you exchange phone numbers. ... He might wine and dine you, treating you to a diatribe on how men are too immature to commit to a relationship, and how he's 'so over the bullshit.' ... He incessantly proclaims that he doesn't care what anybody thinks of him -- then promptly asks what you think." Jeremy says: "Cut your losses and forget about meeting again. Guys like this treat second dates like honeymoons."
EDITORIAL (David Walberg): "Sins of omission"
"Proponents of gay marriage raise serious issues like adoption and alimony, but the truth is that you don't need marriage to get those things. Gay marriage is about acceptance. It's about asking society to accept that our relationships are important and valid. ... That's the whole problem with marriage -- it's too exclusive, even when we let the homos in. ... However we define our relationship Nick [David's lover] is part of my family. All families are chosen families, and they need to have the moral courage to stand up for their choices. Gay marriage won't change that."
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Oct 31, 2002:
EDITORIAL (Brenda Cossman): "Intimacy on a five-point scale"
"What fascinates me about these numbers [same-sex conjugal households counted for the first time in the Census of Canada, 2001] is the way gay and lesbian folks have arrived on the national statistical scene. ... It is not gay men and lesbians who have arrived, but same-sex couples. It is part of the way in which our membership as sexual minorities in the Canadian nation is mediated through the lens of respectable relationships. ... Lots of gay men and lesbians live like this. But lots don't. And in the census data we simply see a playing out of the larger debate in the gay and lesbian community about the privileging of relationships. ... Romantic and familial relationships rule, not friendly or sexual ones.
"Now, I am not in favour of the official counters going from household to household asking intimate details about people's sexual practices. ... But I do think it's important to recognize what the numbers leave out. ... And its important that we remember that the people who don't get counted still count."
(The lead news story in Xtra West!, May 3, 2001, reported Jane Rule saying "Lie on the census," due that May 15. "Not filling out your census form can lead to a $500 fine or three months in prison. Rule says, that at 70 years of age, she doesn't care. ... She opposes any government favouring of one kind of relationship over another. ... National gay lobby group Egale Canada fought for years to have lesbian and gay couples in the census. Executive director John Fisher says an under-reporting is expected [the count came in at just 34,200 homo pairs: less than 0.5% of all households]. ... 'She's certainly entitled to her opinion; it's not one we necessarily share,' says Fisher.")
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Nov 14, 2002:
Adoption woes!
LEAD NEWS (Rachel Giese): "Baby blues: Attitudes don't match rules"
(Flag: "Adoption"; 1.5-col pic: "Tears are not enough. Zoë Newman has had a hard time getting the paperwork done for her daughter, Sapphire.") "As several high-profile legal and political victories have increased the rights of lesbian, gay and transsexual parents, some parents are finding that even though laws have changed, bureaucratic attitudes haven't. ...some lesbian parents are finding that when they try to access information, or go through the usual parental procedures, they are subject to conflicting information, lengthy delays and what they feel is discriminatory treatment." Story covers two adopting couples, one partner quoted: "We didn't experience anything overt, but we did have a lot of delays and were often given conflicting information. We did wonder if it was homophobia."
Gone Fisher
Egale head stepping down
(Small pic: John Fisher)
NEWS (Samantha Sarra): "Egale head resigns: Lobby group begins soul-searching"
(Flag: "Politics"; 1-col pic: "Strong backbone. John Fisher defined Egale's role for the last eight years.") "Fisher is stepping down as executive director of Egale Canada in June 2003, right after the organization holds a major soul-searching conference about its future in May. 'When people think of Egale, they think of John,' says the group's president Kim Vance. ... Despite its national profile, Egale is a modest organization, with Fisher as the only full-time employee, three part-time employees, and an annual budget of about $250,000." Fisher says he's "interested in focussing my energy on international issues facing GLBT people."
NEWS (left column, lead news page, by Tanya Gulliver): "Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe"
(Flag: "Marriage options") "Do you think that getting rid of marriage altogether is the way of the future? Should queers have their own private civil union system? The federal justice department has posted its multiple-choice same-sex marriage questionnaire for Canadians and wants feedback." The option of leaving marriage to religions and out of law "is the most complicated and most likely to upset both the right, who want religious straight weddings tied to government recognition, and the gay marriage advocates, who say that such a strategy is just another way of avoiding recognition of same-sex couples." George Smitherman, MPP for Ontario's gayest riding, says same-sex marriage recognition "must be the starting point for any legislative initiative. The equality provisions of the Charter are not up for debate."
(For Xtra!'s Oct 24 "Shotgun Wedding?" forum -- unreported in Xtra! -- see: Beyond dither? For the Justice Department's discussion paper, released Nov 8, 2002: Not going beyond.)
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Nov 28, 2002:
NEWS (Paul Gallant): "Province defends unfair birth rules"
(Flag: "Adoption") "Lesbian and gay parents aren't discriminated against while registering their baby's births, says an Ontario government spokesperson. Except for the fact that, non-biological parents don't really have any rights when they register. And, same-sex partners can't register at all." Follow-up to Nov 14 story.
BRIEF (Paul Gallant): "Poor pensioners"
(1-col pic: "George Hislop. 'The government did not discriminate against us when it came to collecting premiums, just when it came to paying out benefits.'") Feds allowing separate actions in Ontario & BC, by same-sex survivors seeking Canada Pension benefits, to be combined and go ahead in Jun 2003. "It's a surprise move -- as is typical with class action suits, the feds have been making things difficult since it could cost them $400-million if they lose. 'It comes out of left field,' says lawyer Doug Elliott...."
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Dec 12, 2002:
Has Michael Coren mellowed?
NEWS (Tanya Gulliver): "The marriage scorecard: Who's on first, where's the ball?"
(Flag: "Politics"; 1-col pic: "Add it up. Joyce Barnett and Alison Kemper are one of the couples fighting to get married.") "I'm so fucking confused! I may be Xtra's go-to girl on the queer marriage issue, but even I can't figure out who is winning the battle. Are queers on the third down or did we fumble the ball? Are bases loaded or did someone just strike out? The court cases are piling up fast and furious, the feds are announcing all sorts of working papers and standing committees and even the provinces are jumping on board with their own legislation."
Story notes just one federal working paper [untitled and undescribed -- its Justice Department website address given at the end -- to be discussed by just one standing committee of Parliament]; Quebec and Nova Scotia allowing "gay men and lesbians to enter civil unions"; and Alberta's proposed Adult Interdependent Relationships Act, which "will also cover common- law heterosexuals [as Quebec, Nova Scotia, and Manitoba do as well] and people in committed non- sexual relationships such as close friends or relatives who live together."
SIDEBAR (Tanya Gulliver): "First Coren-thians"
(1-col pic: "Neurosis. Michael Coren gets along with gay lawyers.") Interview with Coren, a columnist and TV host "often seen as a bellwether for the Christian right in Canada" [having called gays "neurotic"]. ... Has he changed?" Coren says: "These days after my show I am more likely to sit and talk for an hour with the gay lawyers than with the Christian panelists." Lawyer Doug Elliott says: "I think he's mellowed.... He still thinks homosexuality is a sin, but he opposes discrimination against gays and lesbians." "There are too many people on both sides who are just talking about winning," Coren says. "A better question would be, 'How can we be fair? How can we be loving?'" He calls Alberta's move (beyond conjugality) "an intelligent and compassionate response to an issue. Yes and no are too limiting."
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Dec 26, 2002 (released Dec 23):
NEWS (Julia Garro): "Marriage vs common-law: Division of property is the difference"
(Flag: "Responsibility") "The Supreme Court Of Canada has decided that when it comes to claiming an equal share of assets after splitting up, common-law status just won't cut it. The decision entrenches the gap between the married and unmarried in this country, and calls into question the claims of governments that by extending common-law status to same-sex couples they have dealt with issues of discrimination." The case involved an opposite-sex couple with two children, living in common-law for 10 years, 50-50 property division deemed not automatic because they had chosen not to marry. "John Fisher, the outgoing executive director for Egale Canada, believes the court had homos in mind when they worded the ruling. ... 'The court is sending a clear message that choice is an important constitutional principle and clearly that choice to marry is denied to those in same-sex relationships,' Fisher says."
NEWS (Samatha Sarra): "Making issues sexy: 'Peg activist new Egale head"
(Flag: "Politics"; 1-col pic: "Back to Ottawa: Gilles Marchidon came out in the city in 1989.") Egale board member and Prairie rep Marchidon "and his boyfriend Gord will leave Winnipeg behind" to "start his new job as executive director of the national queer lobby group Egale. ... 'I'm ecstatic. I can't wait to start, to be right in the middle of one of Canada's GLBT [gay, lesbian, bi and trans] (sic) centres, to have my finger on the pulse.'" Founder and director of Winnipeg's Reel Pride Festival, publisher and editor of Swerve and "self-professed media slut," Marchidon "wants to 'make the issues sexy. ... Our struggle is the same that women face for equality, the same people of colour face -- we can afford to be fairly broad in our approach.'"
BRIEF (Joel Dupuis): "Gay PEI" ("Same-sex partners in Prince Edward Island now have rights after the province introduced an amendment to its family Law Act this month." The change expands the rights of all common-law couples -- not just same-sex -- "to include child custody, property division, and spousal support."
FEATURE (Compiled by Julia Garro): "Nudity, marriage & Catholics, oh my! 2002 was full of court-room drama"
(Flag: "Year in Review 2002"; 5-col image: 8 numbered pics marking "ups & downs") "Want to solve your problems? Head to court. That's what you'll learn following the highs and lows of the year that was 2002." Ten stories featured. Number 8: "Marriage victory" (a high: court decisions two-to-one in favour of same-sex marriage). Number 9: "Nice while it lasted" (a low: feds appeal those two "marriage victory" rulings).
(For more on the December Supreme Court decision (and others), as well as new partnerhsip laws in Prince Edward Island and Alberta, see This just in!
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